Shaving is Bullshit
When you book a date with me, I show up, showered and shaved, 10 minutes early.
That’s just how I was raised. My dad was former Navy.
So, I’ll shave for twenty minutes for a date. Arms, legs, pits, anything that had been tattooed has to be shaved and lotioned. That’s just my life.
I had a date, so I got ready. And, I thought this guy was something… We’d been flirting and sexting. I totally thought this was going to happen. So, I did my due diligence and shaved the rest of my areas, too. I’m not kidding. It took 45 minutes. I shaved for 45 minutes to eat tacos with a guy that I was never going to sleep with. It’s crazy!
And, now, it itches so bad that I'm white knuckling it, trying not to drag my taint across the carpet like a dog with worms.
Leave a Reply.
Oregon-based stand-up comedian.