INT: Small sedan, night.
Thomas: That was really great. Meeting you, obviously, but, also the food.
Ginny: I think I ate too much nonsense, ugh. It was almost TOO good. Thank you.
Thomas: I’d definitely go back, the Carne was amazing.
Ginny: Totally. I love Mexican food.
Thomas: I liked watching you love Mexican food.
Ginny: Yeah? Turning you on?
Thomas: I’ve been thinking about it. Off and on.
Ginny: Off and on?
Thomas: Yeah… What kind of things turn you off and on? More on, though. Just on.
Ginny: I’m into some crazy stuff.
Thomas: Really? What kind of stuff?
Ginny: I think I’d have to know you better.
Thomas: I’ll go first. I’ll tell you one of my secret sex things, and you can tell me one of yours.
Ginny: I don’t know.
Thomas: No, I have something. So, I watch a lot of porn.
Ginny: Don’t we all…
Thomas: Really? We all do?
Ginny: It’s 2019, admitting to liking porn is like admitting to liking pizza.
Thomas: Fine, I can see that. Have you ever kissed a girl?
Ginny: One time, in college. Tastes like chicken.
Thomas: Tastes like chicken. I see. So, it wasn’t for you?
Ginny: I always thought I was straight until I saw Ghostbusters 3 with Kate McKinnon licking her side piece. I’ve never wanted to be a gun so badly. I think I watched that GIF most of the summer.
Thomas: They made a GIF of that?
Ginny: I can make things.
Thomas: So, you’ve never been with a woman?
Ginny: No, but for that one, I’d sure try. Have you ever been with a man?
Thomas: No, but I’ve seen gay porn.
Ginny: I’ve never seen gay porn. Lesbain porn, yes. Did you find it compelling?
Thomas: Yeah, I actually beat it to the movie.
Ginny: Did you cum?
Thomas: Of course I came. But, then I felt massively guilty about it.
Ginny: Christian upbringing?
What kind of porn do you watch?
Ginny: I’m a bit more out there than you are.
Thomas: How do you know?
Ginny: I’m just a bit out there for everything…
Ginny: I like casting couch videos.
Thomas: Really? With the douchey guy?
Thomas: Why? Because of the way he directs her around and tells her what to do?
Ginny: No, I like that there’s no job.
Thomas: You like that?
Ginny: Yeah, some of them are staged, absolutely, but some of them are just some girl trying to make a couple grand on her back.
Thomas: Really? That’s what does it? The scam?
Ginny: Yes. The loss of innocence. Thinking about it makes me cum.
Ginny: Because I’m jealous of them. They possess something I’ll never have. A beautiful body, ripe and camera-ready for porn. And, then they walk into a room and do crazy, naked things on tape with a man they just met for the prospect of money.
Thomas: And, you like that.
Ginny: Not about myself, but that’s why it makes me cum. It’s the horror and beauty of a broken vase, a murdered duck. They’re killing something, I mean, it’s dead already, on tape. But, yeah. That’s what I jerk it to.
Oregon-based stand-up comedian.