RaPUNzel

​INT: CASTLE TOWER, RAPUNZEL AT HER VANITY, OBVIOUSLY COMBING HER HAIR
 
FROM OUTSIDE THE WINDOW: Rapunzel, beautiful Rapunzel, let down your hair so that I might requite our love and ascend to thine lair.
 
Rapunzel runs to the window.
(Downwards, out window).
 
Rapunzel: Oh, brave knight! I will let down my hares for your pleasure. :::Throws rabbits out window:::
 
ON THE GROUND
Prince, looking up: What the hell?
:::Rabbits fall on his head:::
Beautiful Rapunzel? Let down your gorgeous mane, that I might conquer the distance between our beating veins!
 
IN THE CASTLE TOWER
Rapunzel: Goes to map, takes down glitter cutout of ‘Maine.’ Tosses it out the window with a baffled look on her face.
 
ON THE GROUND
Prince (dodging flying cardboard ‘Maine’ cutout):
 
Dearest Rapunzel, cast down thine wig, for my love is impatient, and and hard… and so… big (looks at his crotch, then deadpans the camera).
 
IN THE CASTLE TOWER
Rapunzel (to stage right): You heard him boys! (half a dozen WHIG members in full 19th century regalia run and jump out the window).
 
OFF STAGE: Screaming is heard, moaning, various cries of anguish as the WHIG party hits the ground.
 
ON THE GROUND
Prince (among the dead and dying):
Darling Rapunzel, do you not understand? I need you to lower your locks so I can take thine hand!
 
IN THE CASTLE TOWER
Rapunzel throws down master locks, a Club, some bike chains, and a small safe.
 
ON THE GROUND
Prince, looking much battered and bruised, looks at the camera:
You know, I hear Snow White is in this forest.
​

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