IF MEN GOT PERIODS
INT: MEN’S BATHROOM STALLS, ONE MAN IS ALREADY IN A STALL, ANOTHER MAN ENTERS THE SECOND STALL. YOU CAN HEAR THE FIRST MAN GETTING AN INSANE AMOUNT OF TOILET PAPER FROM THE ROLL. Dylan: Everything okay in there? Jack: Yeah. (More toilet paper unrolling). Fuck. Dylan: You sure? Jack: (Thick Southern accent.) I- uh… I just got my period. Do you have a tampon on you? Dylan: Oh, bro, I got you! (reaches into the pocket of his Carhartt overalls and pulls out a mini tampon and passes it under the stall divider.) Jack: (exhales thankfully) Dude, you rock! Thank you! Dylan: No worries, Bro. It happens. Jack: Can I buy you a beer or some nachos? Dylan: Yeah, let’s get some nachos! But, only after you wash your hands! You fuckin’ bleeder. Jack: I really dig your boots. Dylan: Yeah, thanks… (dialogue trails out as they leave the bathroom) FADE TO BLACK
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Jane MaloneOregon-based stand-up comedian. Archives
February 2020
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