I’m lonely, a lot. I mean, I have a lot of time to masturbate. I’m getting good though. I’m thinking I might make State this year. I’m kidding… that’s a young man’s game.
I’m so alone, I don’t even cast a shadow right now.
I’m so lonely; I’m running a small animal shelter out of the back seat of my Toyota. Right now it’s just the one raccoon, but we’re hoping to expand. I have my eye on the neighbor’s dog.
There are a lot of different kinds of fat people, I’m sure you’ve seen Gabriel Iglesias work on the matter. He self-identifies as ‘fluffy.’ It’s different for women. There are still degrees, and I’m at the high-end of the scale, I don’t quite qualify for “dayummmm,” I’m usually between that, and “eh, I’d probably still fuck her.” Which is nice, really, very body affirming. The step down from me is, “She’s got such a pretty face,” then it’s, “Well, you know she can cook,” and then, “I like ‘em a little thick.”
I'm Jane Malone.