Is this a dark joke or a fat joke?
I wanted to hang myself yesterday, but none of the trees around my place will hold my weight.
I've been considering some kind of pulley and lever system. I'll just have to hoist myself up there, which is still cheaper than renting a winch.
Lately, I’ve been reflecting a lot about past relationships. And, I think that claw-foot tubs are too nice to kill yourself in.
I know, because I went through a bad breakup with an awesome claw-foot tub.
It’s one of the reasons that I’m still alive today.
I'm Jane Malone.